Tips For Dating A Dog Mom

“I wouldn’t recommend dating a lady with a dog.”

My eyes widened as I shushed the offending individual. Route and I had been dating for maybe a month, when the topic of dating dog moms came up in a group conversation. I’d be lying if I said Aspen hasn’t made a guy or two jealous before. But let’s be honest, if a guy can’t handle the bond between a dog mom and her pup, I wouldn’t recommend dating that guy anyway.

If you’ve seen a lady of interest hitting the trail with her dog, climbing at the local gym with her crag pup, or paddling the river with a SUP pup – these tips on dating a dog mom may give you some hope that there’s room in her life for a two-legged companion (that’s you).

DogMom

Look at those legs, on that pup!

First off, don’t be jealous. Green is an ugly shade unless it’s on your jeans from rolling around on the grass with the pup. That pup relies on her for basic pup-needs, including food, water, shelter, and belly rubs. They’re going to spend a lot of time together. They have a close connection, that’s what happens when you’re responsible for another living-being.

If you invite her to do anything, the first question will be, is it dog-friendly? If it’s not, reconsider said plans. If it’s an amazing can’t-miss adventure, offer to help secure proper pup accommodations.

Know the stats. People love asking dog parents about their pup. I still love the story of the first time Route was responsible for Aspen. It was for maybe five minutes but he managed to get peppered with questions. What’s her name? Aspen. What kind of dog? Lab/whippet mix. How old? Five (at the time). Do you feed her? Only the flesh of our enemies and people that ask stupid questions.

Broken glass is now the number one threat. If you’re on an outdoor adventure that calls for tasty brews, canned beer is the only way to go. The exception is if there are no decent micro-brews in cans, then glass is permitted. Just know that if the your glass bottle breaks, you’re responsible for every last razor-sharp shard of glass. If you see broken glass, you will get lots of belly rubs if you pick it up and safely deposit it in a trash receptacle. Remember, glass is the number one threat… except in July when it’s fireworks.

DogMom1

Number one threat during the month of July.

Camping is the best time for pup snuggles. This is especially true if the pup is not allowed on the bed at home. If that’s the case, this is the best time to really spoil the pup with floofy sleeping bag cuddling. I recommend adapting to the triple spoon or at least not complaining if the pup decides your foot space is the ideal location.

Her happiness is tied to that pup’s happiness. There is nothing she’ll love more than watching you two run around and play. Don’t bring her flowers, bring a dog toy. If that tail is wagging, you’re golden, like a retriever.

There will be dog photos, lots of them. Don’t fight it, embrace it. Join in the goofy selfies. Snap a portrait of her pup having a Lion King moment on the top of a mountain. She will cherish it and it will get the pup so many likes on Instagram.

DogMom2

My favorite selfie crew.

Accept all the kisses, even if it comes with stinky dog-food breath – it means you’re part of the pack. In some cases, the pup may have a broken licker and licks everything. The lamp, most of the floor, and the calf of that random stranger are not in the pack. If that’s the case, look for her to leave a roll of poo bags in your car – you’re in.

I promise her love for the pup and her potential love for you is totally different. There’s no need for comparison. Being a dog mom is a big responsibility and that pup is a furry pillar in her life. Be an active pack member and don’t be jealous if the pup gets more belly rubs than you. That is, unless she’s ignoring you and using the pup as a buffer. Then take a moment to reflect. What have you done? What’s the best course of action to fix it?

Good Luck,
Trails

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2 responses to “Tips For Dating A Dog Mom

  1. Most of this could apply to a dog dad as well, or even a dog family… but I won’t digress and complicate things. Dogs Rule!

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