Climbing By The Label

I completed my first 5.10D without falling at the climbing gym! This gorilla was on my back for a week. The crux was three moves from the bottom and I couldn’t complete the high step to get past it. After three failed attempts my forearms admitted defeat and I decided I’d have to return another day. I revisited Silverback this week and sent it!

Silverback 5.10D

Silverback 5.10D

I love exploring guidebooks and exploring the walls at the gym looking at the names and wall themes. I’m probably supposed to be looking at the holds and such, but apparently I pick my climbs like I pick my wine – by the label.

I strive to one day be good enough to create my own theme wall, until then, I shall brainstorm…

The (Stephen) King Wall would make for a thrilling theme:
The Dark Tower: 5.10c ★★★★ Long climb, but worth the effort
Cujo: 5.11d ★★★ This route has a bite
Misery: 5.11a Annie Wilkes may like this route, but we don’t
Under The Dome: 5.11b ★★ Arch climb
REDRUM: 5.12a R ★★ Little finger holds
They’re All Going To Laugh At You: 5.9 ★★★ Awkward but fun

Climbing Rocks would be puntastic:
Gniess Form: 5.10a ★★★★ Flowy route
Treemendous: 5.9 ★★★ Afternoon shade
Best Fronds: 5.7 ★ Great route for your beginner buddy
Ferntastic: 5.8 ★★ Trad climb
Gorges Views: 5.10c ★★★★★ Tallest climb on the wall
Hey Birches!: 5.11a ★★  You’ll have bragging rights after the crux

Ultimate, is potentially headed for the Olympics; it’s time to spread some Flat Ball terms:
Bookends: 5.11c ★★★ Cruxes at the beginning and end
Callahan: 5.14d ★★★★ Hardest route on the wall, rare but glorious if you make it
Huck It: 5.9 ★★ Send it!
Layout Or Go Home: 5.12b ★★★ Dyno mid-route
Savage Seven: 5.11a ★ Get ready for some hard work on this seven-bolt sport
Spirit Of The Game: 5.10a ★★★★★  This one is just great and reminds us why we love to climb
Skied: ★★★ Arête with lots of exposure
Jam It In The Jam Hole: ★ Crack climb that may pay off

Everyone likes Queen right? If you don’t, I kindly ask you to leave this blog and re-evaluate your taste in music. Killer Queen song titles:
Don’t Stop Me Now: 5.10b ★★★★ Sustained climbing all the way to the top
We Will Rock You: 5.8 ★★ Nice warm up route
Seven Seas of Rhye: 5.10a ★★★ Seven-bolt sport
Under Pressure: 5.11c ★ A tight squeeze in an off-width crack
Fat Bottom Girls: 5.9 ★★★ Nice jugs all the way up the wall
Bohemian Rhapsody: 5.10d ★★★ Get into a rhythm on this route

Now I just need to hone my skills so I can put up some first ascents or get a job at a climbing gym so I can get these names on a wall.

Send it,

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